Monday, November 30, 2009

Mixed metaphors

I understand that the examples in the previous post were of understatement, not of overstatement. I am going to be a child here and stamp my foot in annoyance. I know that they are wrong, and that is not the best thing that I can put on my blog, but you know what? I don't care. I don't.

Well... only a little bit - see understatement.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

A different plan

I have been thinking about what happens when I get home. I was worrying about not having a car - oh what to do sans car in Brisbane?

I've been happy dealing with the bus here. Well, happy might be an incredible overstatement. Like, the Black Knight's 'it's only a scratch' or Katrina only 'being a storm'. I hate buses.

I hate the way that they arrive late or early. I hate the way that the drivers are rude and often don't stop for people - quite randomly, I might add. I hate that when they are 1 hour late and you passivly aggressively say something like, "lots of traffic?" or "are you the 4pm, 4.20, 4.40 or the 5?" and they just smile. I don't mind you're late if you apologise. Not that big of a deal if you just go, 'sorry we're late, we got caught in traffic' or even just a 'sorry the bus before didn't arrive'.

I hate people who sit right next to you when it's you and three other people on the bus. I hate the chav mothers who get on the bus with their prams and other children and take up the whole wheelchair section and then glare at you so that you allow their children to sit down. I hate the mothers who obviously can afford a car 'cause they've got a 500 pound pram that won't fit in the pram space and they just put it out into the aisle. I hate that drivers are too scared to tell these mothers that their prams are nuisances and should be folded down before getting on 'cause there's already 4 prams on it already.

I hate older people (not OAPs, but mid 50s people) who stare at you to get up and allow them to sit, even though you've had a ten hour day and you're on a full price ticket. I hate people who are too sick to be on the bus (there's one here who has a catheter with a pee bag that leaks) and make everyone uncomfortable.

I hate the way the word buses doesn't conform to grammar rules. I mean - it's a consonant at the end; it needs a damn 'ss' in the middle!!!!

Oh, dear me. That post got to a crossroads and took the left hand turn instead of the right, where it was meant to go - back to the original path ---

I was worried about being in Brisbane with no car again. I hate not having the independence....

No! Stop. No more rant. I was going to be limited in where I lived, what I did, where I worked.

Then I got an email. My lovely step-mother is going to allow my Dad to pay her the trade-in and he is going to be excellent and allow me to pay him back. So, when I get home, I will have a car!!!

I can live where I want, do what I want, work where I want.

I want to make a public thank to two of my parental units for allowing me to retain some of my hard-won independance on my return.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Just wanted to say...

that I had one of the best teaching days of my life today! If I could cartwheel I would have done 100.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The devil that is the bus

The times that are written on the post next to the shelter are inefficient. The driver reads them; 'pfft. Timetable! I laugh in your face. My middle name is keeps-on-time. Watch? What's them?'

They run early or late, depending on their mood. Don't even try and tell me it's the traffic! I get on that bus and I can see what's come before and if there is traffic, we will catch it up.

When it comes too early, you run, dragging your coat behind you. When it arrives late, you stand with your thirty books in your bag on your shoulder. In the freezing cold.

Or, as happened this afternoon, your friends are running and you are hoffing it as fast as you can. They get on, show their passes and the driver pulls away. It's almost like he's giving you the finger.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

New Moon

So, I will say it here. Loud and Proud. I will not be paying money to see this film. I will not be spending money or any (more- I realise that writing about it counts) bandwidth on reading about, looking at pictures or secretly wishing that Robert Pattison was in my life.

In six months time when it's on TV, I will not  be spending my precious time stuck in front of the TV watching some teeny-bopper writing about Werewolves and Vampires.  Underworld sucked enough of my time, and I really really don't want to be thinking about some 17 year old at school trying to get one of these two creatures to (euphemistically) carry her into the dark night.

There is a place in the world for vampires, and it is Anne Rice, or Poppy Z Brite - hard core, no holds barred, unadulterated evil. Questions of the universe and agnosticism. Written well.  The world lost something wonderful when Ms Rice (as Stefenie - may I point out that this is spelt wrong - is often called) 'found' the Christian God and could no longer bring herself to write about evil.

It is not a place for mothers with young children who attended BYU and write for teens.

*In honour of being totally truthful, I have not read any of the Twilight books, but I imagine them to be soppy teen romances written inartfully by a hack writer (a la JK Rowling) with nothing appropriate for pre-teens and the middle twenty women who are swooning over it left, right and centre*

Sunday, November 15, 2009


I went to the Acupupuncturist during the week to get some more herbs. I use the term herbs loosely - they're what TCM calls herbs, but it's flowers, seeds, bark, roots, grass, and on occasion, an actual herb. I mentioned my sore jaw, and he added something extra to my concoction.

Not much better, but I have only been drinking it for a couple of days. The top jaw is less sore and I am not clenching my teeth together as much.

Can't wait until I get back home and back onto my healthcare so I can see a dentist.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Last period notices

So the admin assistant of the year level I was teaching comes into my lesson this afternoon. No problem there. She's lovely and the kids are little-kid-watching-blair-witch scared of this lady. A great lady to have on side and supportive of you. But I digress.

She came into the room with a pile of red leaflets for me to give out as they were leaving. I kid you not - these were blood red pieces of paper, with HEAD LICE WARNING emblazoned directly over the top of the page in Times New Roman in size 30!

There is no scarier font than Times New Roman that big. It's scary at size 12. I really don't know why I tolerate it as the horrid default for this blog - I never allow the devil of fonts to be a scourge on my documents. All serif fonts give me the heebie jeebies (official diagnosis - I'm not making the term up) and you can give me the information that one of my sweeties has intestinal parasites and therefore cannot sit still while I'm eating - that's fine... in fact it gives me a reason why the child just will not sit still for more than 30 seconds - but use a serif font on your powerpoint and I will be wanting to go all Mr Miyagi on yo' ass. And, no, not a nice Miyagi-san.

My new favourite for my own powerpoints is Comic Sans. I find that they will read a 'fancy' font more willingly and CS is one that both my computer at home and the school has. I also don't mind Papyrus or Harlow, or even Minya Nouvelle (which contrary to the above is a serif font). But they're not interchangeable and I end up with 2 hours of work transferred into Arial. Arial??? Why would I want to write in that? Not a serif, so granted is much nicer than Times (what newspaper is so egotistical to have called a font after themselves anyway?) but so predictable. Verdana and Tahoma have almost joined Arial is perfect respectability. Like a Stepford Wife.

Anyway, back to the story. I got these ruby red leaflets to hand to my horrors and that line just jumped out at me (how could it not?) So now I've got 45 minutes to teach this lot and I'm circumspectly looking at their heads - who's got it? Swine flu, meh, whatever. 48 hour bug that everyone has at the moment, I laugh at you. Head lice? Holy no!

I've been itching psychosomatically for hours.

I blame the font.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Woop Woop

The ad for rude tube makes me smile everytime. "Woop Woop, I've got my man boobs!" But I cannot imagine actually tuning in and watching a program of clips of naff people (and oh my, I use the term people loosely.) Cheapest programming ever!

The other ads that make me smile are the two "Phones 4 U" adverts. "Phones for popular people" Two that really make me giggle - two 'men' throwing ping pong balls into containers... and the other two 'men' dressed as cardboard knights beating each other with cardboard weapons. No! No! It's the fact that people I know back home would do that... and also the voice he uses.


Saturday, November 7, 2009


One seventh of the half-term is down. Six to go before my holiday *eee* I can't wait!

I am soooo much stronger as a teacher this term. Stand up to them and am bossy as hell. :) Feels good to know that you will have the support of the others if this is what is needed.

Next week even has a half day off! Kids back home have it tough, I tell ya!