So, I will say it here. Loud and Proud. I will not be paying money to see this film. I will not be spending money or any (more- I realise that writing about it counts) bandwidth on reading about, looking at pictures or secretly wishing that Robert Pattison was in my life.
In six months time when it's on TV, I will not be spending my precious time stuck in front of the TV watching some teeny-bopper writing about Werewolves and Vampires. Underworld sucked enough of my time, and I really really don't want to be thinking about some 17 year old at school trying to get one of these two creatures to (euphemistically) carry her into the dark night.
There is a place in the world for vampires, and it is Anne Rice, or Poppy Z Brite - hard core, no holds barred, unadulterated evil. Questions of the universe and agnosticism. Written well. The world lost something wonderful when Ms Rice (as Stefenie - may I point out that this is spelt wrong - is often called) 'found' the Christian God and could no longer bring herself to write about evil.
It is not a place for mothers with young children who attended BYU and write for teens.
*In honour of being totally truthful, I have not read any of the Twilight books, but I imagine them to be soppy teen romances written inartfully by a hack writer (a la JK Rowling) with nothing appropriate for pre-teens and the middle twenty women who are swooning over it left, right and centre*