Saturday, October 30, 2010


Totally was a fake. Had to be.

But it made me laugh, so it did its job.

But I feel sorry for the innocent woman who posted her family pic and has been reported as this dumb lady to the entire world.

I guess it's another reason not to participate in non-private photo posting.


Tears welled today. They welled and welled and welled until the spilled over.

I hate crying, especially when I am at work. But I had to.

I am lonely. I am paralysed by a feeling of incompetence. I am being bullied (by the kids, it's the 'testing' period). I have to move in four weeks and I really don't want to.

I need a hug. But no one in this stupid town wants to speak to me let alone give me a hug. There are three friendly faces, all with young kids and full lives and I can't fit into the time they have. That's OK, I get it. I understand it, and you know? They are at least kind and will actually start a conversation with me.

It's the single people my age who I am angry at. None of them were raised here. None of them felt welcome when they came. But not ONE of them has attempted to make me feel welcome.

Oh, yeah, they did on the first day. I guess they scoped me out and decided, "Nope, we're not going to welcome this girl."

So, while I spend my entire day working out whether there are child protection issues going on, I want someone to notice my scars. Notice that I am drowning. I am the one who is struggling.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

LOTE Proficiency

Randomly got a phone call at 10:10 this morning from the department. I get you only work 9-5, but seriously, call during normal lunchtimes.

And anyways, long story short ('cause I am sitting in my kitchen with sweat dripping everywhere and I want to go sleep) I have to do a LOTE proficiency exam. Oh dear! I don't want to... but hey, if the department wants me to, I will.

But it means another day off without pay.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


I fell in love with this post on today.

I generally have a chuckle, but tonight... well, my 67 year old housemate (we're living in education housing... and we don't get a choice, but it's company...) can attest to the fact that had I the ability to fall off a chair, or, like a friend I have, out from under his then-friend-now-wife (and who recently had a little cutie together, ZOMG, he's just devine, I could eat him) off a couch and roll across the floor, I would have, this ticked my bones so much.

It's like, oops, I tripped and fell on his... you know the rest.

I want to see the divorce papers!

Sunday, October 24, 2010


I've written 1/4 of my assignment more than a week before it's due. I am an assignment God!

Well, not really.

I feel like a hypocrite standing in front of my classes telling them to plan, plan, plan and get their assignment done before the due date. It's something I've NEVER done before. I don't know that it will be done this time either - I just got into a 'writing vogue' and didn't let myself get out of it.

I also got into a searching for references to fit what I've already written vogue. Right. Yep. Write it and then find references. Not really what the masters lecturers want, I so don't think. But it makes me smile.

Google scholar is the BEST invention in the history of the world. Yes, even above fire, the wheel and the engine.

Researching from your armchair? Can't get better than that!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Contract work

I hate doing contract work. Don't get me wrong; I love that I am able to get work. I'm just irritated and frustrated that I get to not have any income for at least 8 weeks and that I have to wait until someone leaves for me to get a job..

There's a saying. New teachers wait for old teachers to die.

And I hate being morbid.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


I bought one. Haven't opened it yet. My Master's assignment (and of course, blogging ;)) comes first. There will be much wii-ige once that's handed in.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Sitting randomness

I was thinking of what to post to dip my toe back into regular blogging. I know that we all go through stages of 'yes!' blogging is the bomb and 'blergh' I just can't be bothered. But it was cathartic and I liked doing it. So, I was thinking what should I write about?

My friends having babies and me still being single? I love them and am happy for them, but a wee bit sad for me. Nah, too negative. It's not a gripe blog. Well, all the time.

My holidays and how I've not done anything I wanted to get done? Or that I missed my own space so much? Nah, that's complaining. Not for my first one back.

Then, I moved to be able to pull the keyboard tray out from under the desk at my Dad and Step-mothers' place. Ouch! I never learn!

I sit with one of my legs crossed and tucked up by the desk. And it hurts to remove it. I have to inch out and wait for my ankle bones to snap back into place. Ouchiewawa. I giggle every time I do it. And, I KNOW it's gonna hurt before I put my leg/s into that position. Why do it then?

'Cause it's damn comfy.