2011

Well, we're at the end of another year. I am not doing anything; at the moment, I am sitting in my Mum's living room, watching Stephen Fry at the Sydney Opera House. We've got a day party tomorrow, so will really be celebrating tomorrow.

I have two traditions at the end of the year:
1. I write down goals and regrets and burn them
2. I write here, a number of things that have helped/affected me during the year. As it is 2011, I will write 11.

Here we go, in no particular order:

I got a permanent job. It's the first time I have holidays and gotten paid for it. It is definitely a bonus, but not the best bit about it. I am working in a school and, though there are some drawbacks, I am generally enjoying it. I got to be much more involved by being at a smaller school and am really looking forward to being more involved and have more responsibility than I would have in a large school at this stage in my career.

I got to hang out with babies. A few of them. Babies that I enjoy. People have sprogged out in great great numbers this year!

Cut price housing with a housemate. Through this, I remembered how, and really learnt how to live in others' space. I know that I did it in England, but I in most of those houses I wasn't living almost on top of anyone. Here I was. We struggled, especially because we worked together, but by the end of the school year we were chugging along ok with each other.

I exercised pretty constantly this year. Not very well, and not to a great heartrate, but I did it. I've had to stop because I am sick, but I will get back into it when that shifts.

L&J. These two ladies gave me some company this year that I will be grateful for. I know we won't be best friends, and that's OK. I was lonely for the majority of the year and these two got rid of it on occasion.

S. This man is phenomenal. I am in awe of his greatness. You know, that man at work who just does everything well and to aplomb. I learnt so much from him this year, and I am really quite upset that he is leaving next year. Not only did I learn about curriculum from him, I learnt so much about behaviour management and connecting with the students. I have changed my entire teaching way because of conversations we've had this year. Also, he showed and told me he had respect for me. He is the best supervisor I've ever - I mean, ever - had. I've had some that were very good. Some who are friends now. Some who I respect. But I don't know I will ever find a supervisor I respect quite so much again.

I started having panic attacks again. It's terrible. But it has really galvanised my need, desire and intention to be healthy as soon as possible. I've been getting help from western medicine, life coach, alternative remedies and meditation. Paying a lot for the privilige, but I really need it. I will be better!

I have paid back over $18,000 of debt. I have paid my credit card off, paid my mother off, bought my car outright off my father, paid a few thousand back to Dad, and a few thousand to the bank. It is very freeing. I will have it completely done by this time next year: $11,000 to go!

3 terrabyte hard drive - I have years of television to watch. I have watched hundreds of hours of House, Supernatural, Big Love, Smallville, Regenisis. Lots and lots of TV. I am starting to remove the shame I feel in relation to how much television I watch.

I have started to not hate Country Music. Even Taylor Swift. It's actually quite easy to listen to, learn the words and sing. And it helps that everyone in my town loves it.

The student that I fought with for the whole year was the only one who, on graduating, sought me out to shake my hand and thank me for the work I've done this year. Thanks made it all good.

So, that's my year.

My resolution for 2012 is the same one as this year: To look back and have no regrets.

This will be three-fold:

1. Exercise and eat healthily with a good mental health.
2. Work hard to help students learn and understand.
3. Be confident and love myself.

I'd love to hear some of yours!