Thursday, December 31, 2009

9 things that furthered me in 2009

I moved departments at work. This is the biggest thing that happened to me this year. It was the best thing that (I think) has ever happened in my life. Not that other things haven't been more joyous in the moment, or more exciting; but I can't think of anything else (although Yeronga SHS came close) that has centred me on my journey. The path to the pure spirit of me is clearer because of this department. I am eternally grateful for this experience. It was one of joy, contentment and fulfillment. I am a better person for it.

So technically, this happened in 2008 as well, and I moved on from this in 2009. But through this house, I gained a couple of great friends, learnt to live independently and how to live graciously around other people without impacting their lives negatively.

I went on my first official date this year. While I have had relationships and been 'out' with boys in the past, this was the first time that I officially went on a 'date'. What's the difference I hear you ask? Well, going out with someone is much more casual - this date, we met each other, he bought everything and I didn't have to spend any cash on myself (except for the tacky souvenirs I bought). Nothing came of this date - mutually - but I have experienced having someone buy the stuff for me and experienced the 'dating game' as an adult. I learnt that there are adult men out there and that I can have a comfortable afternoon with someone I'm not attracted to and there is no need to be rude to them and run off. And now, it's not a secret anymore.

N, E & J
These three women came to my rescue when I decided to leave the above-mentioned Geddington Road. I am eternally grateful for the three of them allowing me to doss at theirs and give me two months grace in finding a new place to live - I would never have found such a convenient and lovely place if I hadn't had them to accommodate me. I am also grateful for their friendship and the comfortable way in which we interact with each other. I have learnt that I am not abhorrent and strangers can and will like me. For me, without me changing myself into someone I think that they will like. Even in such a bad emotional state these women took me into their lives and became friends with me. For them I am eternally grateful.

Even though Stacey on 'Gavin and Stacey' drives me around the bend using this word as an adjective, I have become a serious convert to Lush products. Back home, I used bathing time as pure necessity - jumped into the shower and got out as soon as possible. Over here, with the addition of Lush to my life, I will actually run a bath on a weeknight - obscene luxury - and soak in blackberry, or avocado or peach. So relaxing. The only thing that annoys me is that there aren't enough citrus products. But by finding this company, I have begun to treat myself to relaxation and think I am worth it.

*deliberate lower case i*
On arrival (and, actually, to this day) I spend a lot of time in front of the television. Having the BBC and Channel 4 here have given me lots to watch - and on occassion Five and Five USA. And most of it much better quality than the tripe we got back home. But then I learnt I couldn't watch all of it and live my life. Something had to give, and in my new-found love of life, it was not going to be that, so TV had to give. I don't mind missing programmes now - after years of taping hours and hours of TV each week to do both, that's a different perspective on life. But, if I do miss something and want to catch it up, invariably I can - on the internet! Apparently this invention has come to Australia as well during my time over here, but it wasn't available last year so it was a revelation and something that got me through this year.

During the first half of the year, I was involved in the school musical - We Will Rock You. Absolutely brilliant. Brilliant play, good songs and what I got out of it was invaluable - more children at school got to know me and I was able to command more respect from students through the school. I will never join a new school without taking on extra-curricular duties. Invaluable lesson.

This meant that I could keep in contact with family at home (as well as friends.) This furthered me because I was able to get healthy and know that I could still contact people back home. I am scared about going home, but know that I will be able to keep my spiritual path open and acheive more because I have been in contact with them. It has also meant that I haven't overly missed anyone - they've been just a phone call away. Unlike in Germany when my homesickness was all-pervasive, having contstant access has made it seem like that I was not so far away at all.

Yes, this is a constant source of worry, and I have been broke all year. It didn't seem to matter how much I earnt it; I spent it. Nothing new there really. I have needed to ask parents for a few handouts, but unlike in the past, it has been a last resort. There were a few things I contemplated that would not have helped me on my path, and I often left it too late for deadlines to ask for help. This proved to me that I can live on 10 quid per week (as long as school wasn't on and my friends were in different timezones) and that I ache to be financially independant. It is my main goal in 2010.

**Obviously, there are more things that have contributed to making me who I am now, on the cusp of the new decade than I was at the beginning of 2009. But these nine things above are those that I can see as being pivotal in my soul being lightened and leading me into 2010 as a calmer, more mature and independant person.**

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