My goal this year:
To look back on the 31st December 2011 and be happy with my decisions. And to look positively on everything.
Then I was kicked out of my friends' house - not as rude as it sounds, her baby doesn't settle with people other than Mum and Dad in the house and he had slept around 1 hour since 9am (it was 7pm at this time) so I left. I asked her if I should leave.
We all hung out at her house today for NYE (yes, I know it's a day late) because C can't be taken of routine atm. I understand that and it was actually really enjoyable - no drinking, just chatting and lunch. A really grown up NYE! But everyone there was paired off at least and most were pregnant.
So, all I heard for 5 hours was f**cking crap about pregnancy, babies, how rude people who don't have kids are (? Hello, I'm just trying to give you new ideas if I mention something, and yes, I know I don't have children. I know that. You don't need to rub it in.) and how people shouldn't discipline others' children. If your child uses my digital camera, I don't expect you to let him stick his finger on the lens. I told him not to, sat down and explained that if you touch that, your finger smudge will be on every photo after and he said sorry (he's 4.) If you're not going to keep an eye on my $350 equipment, then I have to!
But anyway, my positivity went out the window. It just reminded me how single, unsecure (I have been given a full time job with the Ed dept, but it is smack bang in the middle of the floods, so I don't know I'll be there to start) and unloved I am.
And no, familial and friendship love doesn't bloody well count.
So, contrary to my goal of positivity, I went to Nando's, sobbed while waiting for my food and brought 8 Cruisers. I thought drinking before the New Year was customary?