Excellent weekend

I am so grateful for a couple of my friends this weekend. We went to the pub on Friday night for $2 cocktails... which, unsurprisingly, were weak as. But hey, $2 isn't to be sniffed at! Had so much fun and had my first foray into the dating world in Australia. :) It was so great.

We went back to their house and I kicked butt on Guitar Hero on the Wii. Excellent fun. We were up until 4am... and man, I felt it today.

I went to the Believing Women for a Culture of Peace and we spent 4 hours planning an anti violence towards women project. It was fun and so great to be involved in something like that. I will be returning.

Then we (the same friends) went to Fasta Pasta for dinner. *Yummy* Such nice food and great value. Lemon Lime and Bitters like only Australians can make. Saw the younger sister of an old friend and she has grown up!

The Blind Side was the next thing that we did. It was a brilliant movie. Don't know she deserves an Oscar, but it was definitely the best movie I've ever seen her in. And in case you don't know who I'm talking about = Sandra Bullock.

Questions that have been bugging me.

As previously posted, I watch a lot of TV. Being unemployed makes that level just soar. While I've been watching in the past few days, I've had some questions that are bugging me.

When is 42 attendants at your wedding just too much?
 And when is it acceptable?
 And when can you not decide between your friends who to include?

Does the only little person in the children of the Roloff family get jealous of his brothers and sisters?

Why do we think it's phenomenal when someone in the olympics has a mother die close to the performance and they decide to compete?

Why do we say 'lost' somebody when someone dies? I always think, "Well, that was pretty careless of them."

What woman, even with God's love, is happy to have 18 children a la the Duggar family?

Why do women getting c-sections get their arms tied down?
And why is the father outside until the spinal is in and said arms tied down?
(This one, I could answer if I googled...)

Why, when thousands of people are paying for the TV channel, do pay tv stations buy 5 episodes and just play them on a loop?

What kind of questions pop into your heads when you are watching television?

Intolerance

is the bane of my life.

I went to the 'church' (which they call a fellowship) that I have been investigating for a bit on Sunday. Yes, today's Tuesday, I know; this is a little late, but better late than never, right? It was so welcoming - getting there at 9.30 for coffee, service at 10 - 11.30 and then lunch together until almost one. It was a gorgeous service, and I felt right at home. I will return.

I do, however, have one bone to pick with one of the fellowship (congregation?) The first principle of this church is the 'inherent dignity and worth of every being'. I really got that from all of the other members - so welcoming, didn't feel judged in the slightest, and they just seemed genuinely happy to have me with them. I can understand why people fall into cults. But this woman. Well... I asked her what she did - I'm a doctor. What do you do? I'm a teacher. What kind of teacher? An English teacher.

Wow. I have never had anyone unleash such venom on being told I'm a teacher. I get all the time - you get lots of holidays, you don't work a full day. These are things you just expect and tolerate when you choose this profession. It's a calling after all and anyone who is in it because they can't 'do' something else needs their head checked.

This woman, who states she is following a spiritually enlightened path through unitarian universalism, used words such as 'pathetic', 'lower than scum', 'unintelligent', 'useless', 'fake job' and 'moronic' to describe me. Not my profession. Me. After having spoken to me for less than one minute. And then, after I'd been pulled away from her by another member of the church followed me to keep the tirade up.

And then, after I told her that I believed in what I did and told her I was going to go talk to someone else, said, "I hope that you will come back because we're so welcoming."

Well. I will be returning. For the rest of the congregation. Definitely not you.

I wouldn't even expect that from the most right person in the world at their church. Trying to convert me, yes. Telling me I was silly because I don't believe in God, but think Archangel Michael is the link to the supreme energy of the world, yes. Telling me off because I chose to serve the community (a choice not unlike you, Miss 'I'm a GP and have a degree and many postdoctoral qualifications), no. Something I did not expect.

She is not an example to follow in any faith. Let alone one who holds the 'inherent dignity' of all as their highest goal.

My mojo

I'm like Austin Powers. I was frozen and some incredibly fat man came and stole my mojo. I don't like to think that my mojo is pink and goopy - it's more like rainbow coloured and swirling like glitter... or some such nonsense.

What mojo has been stolen? My blog mojo. I just don't know what to write about. I don't have the interest in other peoples' blogs that I did even a week ago.

I'm still reading you all, don't worry. I am still following and still commenting (sporadically). I just have lost something this week about this whole thing.

Now. I'm off on a time-travelling extravaganza to steal my mojo back!

Redesign

I figure it was time to change my blog title and therefore the background as I am no longer in Peterborough. And then I remembered the experience this week with Amy's blog - she changed her blog around and the title. Now, I have more than one Amy on my blogroll and was about to comment thinking it was not Amy's... then she mentioned her delightful little boy and I thought, woah hang on there!

So, that's what this post is about - I changed my layout and don't want people gettin' confused.

The first way I knew I was changed

 - I am not jealous of my sisters' weight.

I am being totally honest here - and am at a risk of getting in trouble here 'cause my Dad reads this and I think the sister does too - but it needs to be said.

I have dealt with jealousy forever. I hate it, but I have been insanely jealous of my younger sister for probably my entire life. She knows this. We've talked about it. I've written apologies.

I was soooo worried about coming home because she is looking so good. Phenomenal. She just shines.

I walked through that door at the airport and just felt... proud. She's done so much work and looks happy. I'm happy for her and I'm proud of what she's done.

I am a different person.

Proactivity

It's never really sat well with me. I've always been the person sitting on the couch lamenting. I'm now 27 and wish I'd gotten antidepressants when I was 16. Maybe I'd be a stronger person.

I forget very easily how far I've come on my journey. I slip very easily into 'woe is me' mode. I will get there; of course I will. This week though I'm feeling lost. I keep making decisions and then not following them through. I will eat healthier. I will ....

I have followed a couple through - I sent off my application to teaching on Friday, so I am hoping that within the month I can do some supply work. I finally called the doctor today and am hoping to get my body back on track and off the track it's currently on. *Oopps, that metaphor didn't really work*

I am not the same person I was when I last lived in this house. Just because I've had to move back (due to my own financial mess-ups) does not mean that I am who I was ten years ago. I am a graduate. I am a strong person. I am confident. I am a friend. I am an adult.

Lost in translation

I am lost in translation. I hate feel that movie. I'm in a no-man's land. Like being between the two wall waiting to be shot. Really.

I don't know who I am anymore. I made choices. I made decisions. My life wasn't perfect, but it was mine. Now I am someone else's. I am the government's. I am my parents'. I am my sisters'. I am my friends'.

I am lost in the absence of the ability to make decisions. I didn't make the choice to come back here, but here I am. I didn't make the choice to live where I am, but here I am. I desperately want to go back.

I know that really, I did make the decision to come back here. I didn't try and get a contract so that I could stay. I didn't manage to save enough money so that I could live where I wanted.

I'm floating. I don't know who I am.

Shameless Plug *updated*

I was looking over my blog and thought, "hey, how nice it would be, after getting my bloggie this week to win the Blogthis challenge?"

It would, indeed, be rather rad. Cool. Hip. All that jazz.

So, hey - go vote!!!  There will be a prize for all those who can prove they voted for me*

Oh, and you don't really need to have read my entry, but if you want to, it's here. Update: It was pointed out that it wouldn't exactly be a fair race unless you read all the others... so go do that too... then vote for mine!


* I don't, of course, know what the prize will be. Or how you will prove you voted for me. But go ahead, try. Oh, and thanks for Kellyansapansa for the idea of shamelessly plugging my entry! Thanks. :)

lies

When does a slight mistruth become a big nose-stretching lie?

Is it ethically OK to tell a prospective employer that you can commit to a year contract while knowing full well that if you get a teaching position you will be out of there like lightning?

Is it ethically responsible to tell someone you're extremely happy for them when inside you're being eaten by jealousy (I would say, yes.)

When you've lost something, is it acceptable to tell the person who needs to get it to you again that the plane lost it? I'm not claiming on insurance...

Is it OK to make an excuse to not do something instead of just saying, "Hey, thanks for the invite, but I don't want to."?

What are the little lies that are confusing you at the moment?

Sunshine!

Just for something different, it's raining today. It's quite a good thing for me really; I don't have to deal with the humidity without being able to go out into the rain and 'cool' down. It's also 'raining' metaphorically.

I seem to have lost all my documentation from England. Not good, and I don't think I have enough 'pull' to get them all again! A few times my old programming of 'why does this always happen to me?' and 'what's the point of my life?' jumped up. But the new me went NO. You are not going to go into this old programming. I still cried, but that was frustration... rather than 'wow is me'.

I went to Sarina Russo as part of my Centrelink signing on and was told, 'Oh, you've got a degree. We can't really help you.' Oh well.

So all in all not a great day. But then I checked my blog and kellyansapansa has given me a blog award. It's my first one. I have lost my 'blog award' cherry. ;) I read lots of blogs (but have been really lax in the last two weeks due to travel) and love love to receive comments. So, I need to post the picture, and then pass the award to 12 people.

Thank you so much for making my day Kelly!

Fat Mum Slim - gorgeous blog!

A Little Time for Me - my honourary sister. All about her, her uni and her lovely little boy Will!

Sunny Side Up - a lovely blog honouring a journey through life with infertility. Very touching and honest.

Meaningless Meanderings of a Madmother - great blog from a woman who is as random as me. :)

I want to give it back to Kellyansapansa, cause her blog is brilliant and she's a great commentator, but I don't think I really should.

The Daily Nail - a blog of 365 new nail designs.

Erica at Tartraz - a well written blog about her life and renovations. Found through Natalie (below)

Natalie - found through Blogger's 'Blog of Note'. Before I found blogthis, my favourite blog. I tend to read lots of Mormon blogs. They are sooo gorgeous - her dogs are cute. This is so well written, I would buy this as a book.

Chronicles of Sharnia - I think I read this 'cause of the phenomenal header. Not that she's uninteresting though.

Alliecat at In a Beautiful Pea Green Boat. Just gorgeous.

So I know it's not 12 and I apologise. There are other blogs that I lurk on and may read, but the ones above are the ones I really like to read. But again, this made my day.

Superpowers

Blogthis is running their new competition, and it is 'if you woke up with a new superpower, what would it be?' Now, although I know what 'power' I would have... I think I've always known, I thought I'd scout the other blogs and see what their writers have chosen. I'm always on the look out for new blogs, and this would have the added bonus of (maybe) giving me a brand new idea for a superpower that would blow mine out of the water.

Sarah at Just Me wants to have the 'spoonful of sugar' fingersnap. Now, that would be cool. Not having to do anything again, just 'snap!' and make everything a game. But, unfortunately, I would end up being a whale. I don't know that I would ever actually get out of bed again. So, nope, that's out.

Lori at Random Ramblings of a SAHM thinks that having the ability to read other's minds to see what the hell they are thinking would be cool. Ummm... I don't think I'm quite ready to have the blunt truth thrust upon me, thanks very much. And her description of Super What The Hell Were You Thinking Women kinda reminds me of Mr Muscle or the Napisan woman - just arriving in your house and telling you what you're doing wrong. Li-hittle *DR COX VOICE* too creepy for me.

Jenifer has found a superpower already - you can see it at Odyssey - and I joined her in that last year. So, while it's a brilliant power, I've already got it, and it's the imagining of what I could do that makes this challenge interesting. But, great for you Jenifer, I'm glad you had such a breakthrough year.

Jodi over at missea and Jade at She is Jade, have found a brilliant one. Both for self-worth and the world. Healing other people. Such a selfless power though, and I'd be scared that someone I 'hated' needed help and I'd walk past. Too much power for me. :(

The ability to duplicate myself, a la, Kellyansapansa would be pretty cool, but you know what? I'm too ashamed of me to want other people to have twice as much running around in the world. Although the perk of getting everything done would be exciting. So, no, another power I'd have to pass up.
 
Madmother's faith entrusted by her son is my goal for superpowers but at the moment I have no child. My dog kinda has that look, but I don't whether it's trust or her blindness.  But I honour Madmother's contribution to the world through her powers. Good work!
 
Alliecat's power is just as selfless and pure - to protect children. But again I'm just too selfish. There is a reason that I am a teacher and not a social worker. Even as a teacher it's well hard to separate yourself from the horrid lives that these children go through. I know myself and know that I am not a strong enough person to be able to handle the lives that these people endure objectively. I would go insane. So, again, not a power that I could have.

Which brings me to the power I've aways said, since I was about 15. I would have complete control of my brain, without having any negative social impact. You know that concept that we only have access to 10% of our brain and if we could access the whoel thing we could do anything? Like fly, manipulate our appearance, telekinesis, telepathy - you name it? I strongly and whole-heartedly subscribe to this theory. So, that's the power that I would have. But, I must add - I always add that codicil - no negative social impact. The theory comes with supreme mental problems, so I always say that if I had  mental powers, I would have them without the problems.
 
That's my power - what's yours?

Another Merger

It was beautiful... and the rain held off! It was torrential 30 seconds after they got in their limosine to go to their first night in wedded bliss... but for the day it was excellent. Which, *phew* was good 'cause it was in a garden.

I had a great time - I got to catch up with people from high school that I've seen (maybe) twice since then - 1999. It was such a good night. And we've all agreed that we're going to have coffee at some point next month. :) I really hope that eventuates.

D looked resplendent in her white gown - it was absolutely gorgeous. There is nothing else I can say about it, except that it was radiant and probably the best suited wedding dress I've seen recently. (I'm really sorry to those other brides I've seen who, of course, looked gorgeous in their choices as well, but D was just outstanding - it really just matched her and looked like she was born to wear it.)

Home sweet... home

I am home. I am hot. I am crampy (long flights will do that to you!).

I had some great conversations with people today - including someone I probably haven't spoken to since my Dad's wedding! One of the best and most comfortable convos I've ever had. Including ignoring her son telling us 'I'm stuck' for half an hour until we realised he actually was stuck between the couches and couldn't extricate himself. *Ooops* (to stop my sister calling child protection on me, I will say that we had just finished warning him to stop mucking around or he would get stuck and we would have to get the firies out... and he was laughing as he was saying it.)

I have a wedding tomorrow and, oh my God, the drama. Not with the bride. One of the guests. Totally overreacted to a post on FB and I was embroiled in massive controversy and I wasn't even here. A case of, "I procreated and therefore I am much better than you". I know that's a bold statement to make. I know that having children changes your life; of course it does. Your life stops being about you and becomes about the little one. I respect that. I expect you to go home early from parties, I expect you to turn down invites at short notice. I expect that. I honour that your child comes first; I know my child (when they arrive) will be my priority. What I don't expect is to be treated like I am a second-class citizen because I haven't popped something out of my intimate parts.

I don't really understand it - of course I don't - I'm single and childless. Not by choice, mind you, but because of huge mental fuck-ups regarding the ex, that have also made it onto my list of things for 2010 - get some bleeding counselling so I can move the hell on. I can't stand him and I hate how angry I allow myself to get when thinking about him and how scared I get. I hate it. But that was a random tangent...

 I know that I won't understand that pull that the mother is getting. I won't. I'm realistic. I don't get it. I also don't understand why she is being rude to us childless people who don't understand why it takes more than three days to move the carseat from one car to the other.

Mixed emotions

I am in the plane. I am not in a train. I am not in a car in a lane...

Alright, that's enough Theo Leissig. (Although of course, I wrote that. The great 'Dr' would not have made such a lame rhyme. He was much more intelligent than me)

So that's right. This is preset to open up on Wednesday for all you in the blogosphere. I am currently in the plane flying over the Pacific Ocean on my way back to Australia.

I don't want to come home, but it's time. I don't know how long it will be for, but it's time to be there for a bit.

One of my closest friends just announced a pregnancy, another is getting married and the other is, quite literally, like having a piece of myself missing while we aren't in the same place (that's my opinion anyway.)

So I am looking forward to seeing them. And my family. Of course. I'll give it to 2011.

Goodbye to the travelling world until the next time! You are truly my loving friend. I love you and I will return.

LWD

Likes. Wierds. Dislikes. We each have them. I'm going to now write a few things for each of these in relation to Canada.

Likes

1. I am with friends from Marburg. I have met new people who are some of the most welcoming that I have ever met in my life. Opened their houses and arms to us. Lovely. 
2. People don't flip out about the snow and the cold. It's normal here and they don't stop their lives due to a bit of snow. 
3. Eating out. We have been eating out quite a lot, due to wedding thingys and fumigation of houses. There are a plethora of new eating places for me to experience. And they're places I've heard of from TV and books. I feel sad I'm so excited at seeing a Wendy's or a Denny's signpost. *Hanging head in shame*
4. Excellent heating systems. Invaluable when it's minus thirteen or lower. I am sitting inside in a t-shirt and jeans. They're so good that I actually wake up and have to take my blanket off in the middle of the night so that I can cool down.

Weird things

1. A church which has a brilliant and open feeling when inside, but is a shed of corrugated iron-type siding outside.
2. They drive on the 'wrong' side of the road.
3. Heated car seats - it is definitely also in the 'likes' section - warm your butt up. But in doing so, they make you feel like you've peed yourself. 
4. A shopping centre with a mini-golf arena, four submarines in water, a pirate ship, sea lions on display, lemurs, a water park and a myriad of other things. We've only been there for about an hour, we're going back tomorrow for much longer. 

Dislikes

1. The feeling of having an inability to walk. I keep feeling like I am going to fall over. I did on my first day here, but didn't hurt myself. Now I am really scared to go outside - my Docs are not as grippy as they were 5 years ago (shock!) and I am having trouble walking in them. But ballerina flats won't cut it in the deep snow. 
2. The price on things doesn't include the tax. So you have to add an extra 5% on top. But I guess it could be worse - Alberta's the only one without provincial tax. 
3. The lapse in the cars heating up. You go from the warmth inside, to the cold outside and into the even colder car. I've seen cars sitting in the car park at the shopping centres running so that the heat inside doesn't dissipate. 
4. The worth of money. Something that would have cost less than a quid in England is over $2 here. It's such a jolt and you think you're spending so much more. You're not really. But hey, it'd be the same as in Australia, so maybe I'll get my head around it easier when getting back home. 

I'm sure there are other things that I will think of, but at the moment, they're the things that spring to mind. I am having a great time and am enjoying it. 1 more full day and then I will be on my way 'home' to Australia.