Friday, February 5, 2010

Home sweet... home

I am home. I am hot. I am crampy (long flights will do that to you!).

I had some great conversations with people today - including someone I probably haven't spoken to since my Dad's wedding! One of the best and most comfortable convos I've ever had. Including ignoring her son telling us 'I'm stuck' for half an hour until we realised he actually was stuck between the couches and couldn't extricate himself. *Ooops* (to stop my sister calling child protection on me, I will say that we had just finished warning him to stop mucking around or he would get stuck and we would have to get the firies out... and he was laughing as he was saying it.)

I have a wedding tomorrow and, oh my God, the drama. Not with the bride. One of the guests. Totally overreacted to a post on FB and I was embroiled in massive controversy and I wasn't even here. A case of, "I procreated and therefore I am much better than you". I know that's a bold statement to make. I know that having children changes your life; of course it does. Your life stops being about you and becomes about the little one. I respect that. I expect you to go home early from parties, I expect you to turn down invites at short notice. I expect that. I honour that your child comes first; I know my child (when they arrive) will be my priority. What I don't expect is to be treated like I am a second-class citizen because I haven't popped something out of my intimate parts.

I don't really understand it - of course I don't - I'm single and childless. Not by choice, mind you, but because of huge mental fuck-ups regarding the ex, that have also made it onto my list of things for 2010 - get some bleeding counselling so I can move the hell on. I can't stand him and I hate how angry I allow myself to get when thinking about him and how scared I get. I hate it. But that was a random tangent...

 I know that I won't understand that pull that the mother is getting. I won't. I'm realistic. I don't get it. I also don't understand why she is being rude to us childless people who don't understand why it takes more than three days to move the carseat from one car to the other.


  1. That attitude bugs the hell out of me. As a part-time stepmum, I'm often stuck between two worlds. Looked down on by the "real" mums who have actually given birth, but also frowned upon by those who choose not to have kids because I'm one of "those with kids" now. I really don't have a place - I feel like I'm "stuck in the couch" too!

  2. Don't get me wrong; I totally understand that people with kids are living for them. I know that I will be like that when I do have kids (which I am looking forward to). I feel that I am so open and welcoming to them - the kids are always invited wherever, I tried to stop having night time movie things and implement bbqs in the park so that we could all still get together as adults. It's just bugging me at the moment... especially as it's to do with a friend's wedding.

  3. I hate the way some mothers make childrearing sound so difficult. I get for some people that their worlds revolve around their children- and yeah, our lives changed- but it doesn't give us the right to ask someone to make major changes to their wedding so that our little bundle of joy can be accomodated to.
    Part of the fun of childrearing is figuring out how to make them fit into our lives, as 'normally' as possible.

  4. I totally understand. I hope it all turned out okay. xx

  5. I too fall in that category of being childless (by choice) and have mums look down on me. It's sometimes worse at work given that my target client group is children and adolescents....I have had parents questioning whether I have kids and thinking I'm not qualified enough just because I don't! Of course, the fact that I specialised in child and adolescent psychology has no importance whatsoever! Who says I have to pop out kids of my own in order to work with them???!!!