Just no.

That's what my brain thinks,when I think about blogging. I wish it didn't and that my brain was all, "hell yeah! Blogging!" But it's not.

For my followers, I say sorry. I'll leave the blog up just in case my brain kicks into blogging gear. I appreciate those of you who have read my random nonsense over the years.

This isn't a final farewell. It's see ya later. Maybe.

Off

I've felt 'off' all day. Not sick, just wrong. It's weird, 'cause the word that you need to describe it at work is sick, but it wasn't sickness. Just grossness.

Off.

Feeling a little better now.

Watching Biggest Loser Finale. I can't believe what they look like.

I'd go in it, but then I'd need to get time off, and I doubt the government looks kindly on, "I need time off so that I can stand in my underwear with my fat rolling over them on national TV." I also think I could never command respect again.

But who cares? I'm lighter than I've been in ages. Since 2004 I think.

And it's still leaving my body!

Long Weekend

So I live in the country. I know that. I do. But because I go from my house to work and back during the day, the only way I can really tell is that there is only 110 kids at our 11 grade school.

And then I do something that reminds me I live in the country.

On Saturday, I drove 1.5 hours to a town with a cinema to see Battleship. And I'm glad it wasn't crap. It was quite good. Except the battleship bit with "C11" grid references. That was pretty lame.

And then I went to a grocery shop with more than 2 aisles! Great. :) I know it's all about shopping locally, but I need to have choice of more than one brand. And to know the meat hasn't been defrosted and refrozen. Or that the food I'm buying is in date.

Then I drove 1.5 hours home. It was a good day.

And when in Brisbane, if I have to drive more than 10 minutes, I won't do it.

The mind-set changes.

Nap

Had a nap at 7pm. Now 11pm and I am going to bed SO late.

Oops!

Crying

Cried at work today. Not a really big thing but I was so angry that I wasn't being listened to, that I had to let the emotion out. And I guess it's better your boss thinks you're a big girl than an angry bit.

I'm not the first one though. The new curriculum is killing joy.

Three day weekend.

I don't actually have a three day weekend; I did a 13 hour day yesterday and will be back on Monday.

But I took 5 students on an 8 hour round-trip to see a show. I loved it.

It did NOT feel like work. It was an outing with people I got to know much better and hopefully will have better relationships with.

All I can say is, having the chance to have that day is something I am honoured to have in my job.

And I realised that I am so proud to be called 'Miss'. I realised it yesterday. Like when women say their name is now Mum, my name is Miss. And I must say, I am honoured, and filled with love for the special people I allow to know me as such.

ANZAC Day

I am thankful. I remember. I don't always feel the need to go out to remember and pay homage to those who died. Especially the volunteers and conscriptees in earlier wars.

But living in a small town I have to go out. Our students do a march and they're  in school uniform so we have to go. We look after them all.

It took over an hour for the service to go on. I was so proud of them. We had 20 of them aged 7 or under, 4 at 4, and they sat IN SILENCE for the entire time. Yes, there was lots of squirming and wriggling, but they did so well. Even the 15 year olds made me proud.

We pledged allegiance to Queen Elizabeth II which is kind of odd. But you know what? It kind of made sense. We are still a Commonwealth country and we are commemorating something that happened in service to her. Well, her father anyway.

Then we sang God Save The Queen. I know the lyrics because my grandmother taught us the decades ago because she was telling us about singing it as God save the Cat attack school. It was funny seeing the kids looking confused. But was really funny seeing the adults around standing not singing either.

I did enjoy the day.

Telstra

bites the big one I must say.

Unreliable internet, even in their 'Good' zone or whatever it's called.

Sometimes my internet just doesn't work.

But then again,  neither does my VAST satellite system.

Randomly untunes itself for hours.

And Telstra phone? Sometimes coverage. Sometimes not.

I hate the country.

OK. So I don't hate it, but it's definitely unsatisfactory. When I actually go in to work to use their internet, I laugh because the unreliability of that is known state-wide!

OK. Complaints done.

Thank you for sticking with me, because here goes some positives.

1. I have 7 weeks before I am 30 and I actually have a job with people who I (mostly) like.
2. I have a job where I am fulfilled spiritually most days. Especially when working with the little ones.
3. I cooked enough food last Sunday to still have 6 lunch/dinners stored in my fridge, and enough meat to get me through to at least the middle of May. Which is good since we don't have a butcher.

it's not all bad!

Melbourne

I am back in the good old W. Two weeks holidays just flies doesn't it???

I slept a lot. Read all of the Hunger Games and LOVED every minute of them.

I also went to Melbourne. It was great. I have heaps of pics, but my internet sucks - thanks Telstra - and it's taking over 10 minutes to upload per pic, so sorry, not putting them up. :(


Old Melbourne Goal is always on my Melbourne trips, but I don't know I'll go back. Don't get me wrong, I loved it. I like the idea and have always really liked it. I think I was just too much more aware of the metaphysical aspects of it and with all the darkness and the capital punishments carried out, it just got me totally creeped out.

Then we went to a Fawlty Towers Dining Experience. And I must admit, I went begrudgingly. I wasn't  looking forward to it. I hate the television show and I just think the concept is stupid! But. You know what? I loved it. My jaw was actually hurting from smiling and laughing so hard. And they catered for my dietary requirements.

Then we went to Captain Cook's Cottage. Basically for school. But it was interesting to see again.

We went to the Zoo. Blergh. I enjoyed it, and I was able to meditate in the sun and see animals. I was happy to do it.

We went to dinner, and miscalculated the time. I think I ate an entire serve of lasagne in about 4 minutes!

Then we went to the event we went down to Melbourne for. Symphony of Legends. It was great. Brilliant music. Great atmosphere. Lots of laughs. I didn't know any of the pieces of music, but orchestral music is always good. Great. I tried to test myself and there was a guy by himself that was sitting next to me. Now, I am single and have been for 12 years. I thought it would be a good chance to talk to someone and just try the whole chatting thing. I did. He didn't. It was hilarious. He looked like a rabbit in headlights - such wide eyes - and was monosyllabic. It was pointed out to me that he was a single guy at a computer game symphony spectacular and I was probably the first girl that had spoken to him in ages besides his mum!

On Friday we went the St Patrick's Cathedral. Churches are always so peaceful. I even lit a couple of candles and talked to my angels. I didn't get struck down so my believes are safe!

We then went to the Melbourne Museum. My mind was blown by the VCE assignments that are in the museum. It was insane. That's the standard of some of the work in this country????!??!??! Jaysus!

We then headed home. We got to the airport an hour early and had dinner. And then, you know what? We got to the gate, running, as the boarding closed. Time management is not our forte'.

Except for the accommodation, which was dirty and malfunctioning, the holiday was just what I needed.

Routines

I always thought people who followed routines were kinda boring. They were too set in their ways. Too staid.

Then I naturally came into a routine in my 30th year. Get up, exercise, work, tv, dinner, shower, read, journal, sleep. Repeat.

And i was horrified to begin with but then I started to enjoy knowing what 'came next'. There wasn't a specific time for any of that stuff, but there was an order. An order people! I felt safe.

Then I went on holidays. I am in Melbourne at the moment and my order is all out of whack! Shower in the morning, what?

I know I will be back to normal by the end of the week, but it's disconcerting to realise you're a routine person.

Blogger

Finally having the internet means I can access my blogger reader list and am spending hours updating myself on the happenings in the blogger community over the past 4 months!

Discipline

After my Easter post, I understand that this post might be bizarre. I stand by what I said. I am not re-thinking my faith. That does not mean though, that others' faiths play no part in my life. Yes, most of my friends and family and devout athiests, or at least agnostics. Agnostic is probably the best way of describing it. When I gave the sermon at the UU church I attended a few years back, I said, "I am both polytheistic and monotheistic." And I am. I also think I'm digressing a bit.

The point of this post is to launch the 5 weeks, 5 disciplines, 5 challenges challenge on the Women Living Well website, run by Courtney. Now, with my faith, it may sound (and, actually, it's incredibly to me too) weird that my two favourite blogs are by two deeply devout religious people. Courtney is a Christian Proverbs 31 woman who home-schools and doesn't argue with her husband. If he wants her hair up, or her to loose weight, she does it. ((Shut up those of you I know are screaming!)). But I find so much in what she writes and I really enjoy reading about her experiences. She is so logical, and there is no, what I term 'Christian zealousness' - she wants people to come to Christ in their own way and her blog is there to facilitate that. I'm not coming closer to the Christian Jesus through her blog, but I am coming closer to my own understanding of my interpretation of Jesus and acceptance and removal of my prejudice against Christians through her blog.

The other blog I love and, while not as overt as Women Living Well, is Natalie's Nat the Fat Rat. She's a Morman. And after South Park's Mormon episode and the story of the Golden Plates, I think my prejudice of Mormons was even higher than my prejudice against Christians. But, really, if that's what you believe, all good to you. I believe in reincarnation and I am probably prejudiced against that by other people. I've learnt that all faiths are valid and have logical, open-minded and caring people in them. Anyway, the LDS church must do something right; every Mormon I've ever met or seen pictures of is gorgeous.

But I still need to work on my prejudice against Scientologists!

OK, the tangentbat just hit me on the head. I learnt yet another very geeky word with my bestie the other day. A bat that hits people for going on tangents; I so need one.

The current challenge on Women Living Well is based on Romans and being disciplined in mind, body, spirit, work and time. Holy mackerel do I need some discipline in these areas!

I am going to jump in with both feet and take what I need from the challenge.

I hope that you can join me and discipline yourself.

And give me kudos when it's all done, but NO advice or 'help'.

Easter Monday

Well, what's on my agenda today? These things:

http://www.perform.org.uk/images/uploaded/helpingwithhousework.jpg

Helping my Mum clean the house. Not much from me, but I will do what she asks.

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I will have only clean clothes by the end of the day.

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My mother and I are going to go and see the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Brilliant cast!

And I will not even buy any food!

http://www.ambientespabali.com/main/wp-content/flagallery/candidasa/crystal-balance.jpg

My mother will give me a crystal healing and I will get back on track with my eating.

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I will sleep well. The last night on this holiday when I don't have to set me alarm!

What's on your agenda?

Let me know!

Good things about this holiday

1. I have internet on my computer now.
2. I have spent lots of time with family and friends.
3. I've caught up on lots of sleep.
4. Have read and seen Hunger Games. My thoughts are yes! Don't walk, run and read and see it!!!!!


Hunger Games.

There have been many things written about this book and movie. I'm not sure what has been said, 'cause I haven't read any of it.

I really enjoyed it. It made me think. It made me wonder. It made me excited.

Excited. Really really excited.

And I have a new middle name for children.

My theory is this:

I love stories of rebels. People who stand up against the masses and aren't afraid. Or, actually, are petrified, but do it anyway. Now, these names are generally from stories and aren't names that you could actually use for children's first names. I know that' I'm not completely dumb. But I believe you can use them for middle names. Not having one, I'm not sure, but isn't everyone automatically kinda embarrassed by their middle names? I would love to pass the characteristics of these women (and yes, some men) to my children. And I think giving them names that embody everything I want for them is a good (well, at least, not a terrible idea).

So anyway, my list (of 2 that I can think off the top of my head - the proper list is on my other computer 6 hours away) is:

Girls

Elphaba
Katniss

There are more, but I really can't think of them at the moment. And it's not actually something I have to think about for a long time. Being, you know, single and all.

Easier

Would my sugar withdrawals and the intolerances be easier if I had a partner to complain to?

Easter

I get it. I know what it's about. Jesus allowed himself to be matyred for your souls.

I say yours because he didn't die for mine. He died so that people were brought closer to spirit and the light but, since there is no sin, he couldn't erase it. That's not to say that he couldn't do something like that.

He couldn't though. He was a great man. A great teacher. An enlightened man. A man who was extremely close to the light. But he wasn't the son of god. Or god himself.

This is then, my round about way of saying, "Yes, I understand why we get a 4 day weekend," but that I don't believe know the reason.

I do like the image of new life an rebirth that the eggs represent as part of the pagan religion that the Christians corrupted. And I am very happy with the gift giving and the being with friends and family.

And I am very happy that you believe Jesus died for your sins and are very saved and calm by that knowledge.

Have a great Easter!

Holidays

I am on them. Have so much work to do but haven't done any. Oops.

Spent today with my bestie and her hubby (another great friend) and two other besties. And two boys under 2.

So soul refreshing. Look at the feet that were available for tickling and carried him to and fro in the park.

How much more could I love a flesh and blood nephew? Not much more I'd say.

Rodeo

Went to the town's Rodeo yesterday. It was a very long day. But it was enjoyable. Will update more when I get the internet proper.

Last day

I have no idea how people who get 4 weeks off at Christmas cope!

10 week intervals are long enough!

My Sunday

1. 60 minutes and approximately 339 calories burnt.
2. 3 unit plans of 11 written.
3. Ticketmaster called and $90 spent on upgrading our tickets. Though I think they should cover it since they cancelled the night we booked originally.
4. ADbc watched.
5. Dinner underway.
6. Budget rejigged so I can save to go to NZ for my sister's wedding.

Pretty good day!

Show ball

The ball for our town Show is on tonight. I've got half an hour to get ready. :-)

Nails bright red. Rimmel 'double decker red'

$120 dress to slip into.

Make up to apply. And silver things to put on.

Not up for a late night but am gonna have fun anyway!

Musical update

Cast is chosen.
Term 2 part 1 practice schedule is set.
Act 2 is half written.

Getting going with it all.
Massive job but hey we can but try!

Told it would be available late January/early February.

Then it was late March.

Now it's late April.

My little car is doing it tough and I really can't afford to fix her.

Frustrating.

Binge

Totally went on a chocolate binge last night.

Whole packet of Roses chocolate.

Then really felt sick.

Grossness ensued.

Some really good work out this morning. The Wii Fit is quite lovely.

Quite.

Great day

Yesterday I had a great day. I was a supervising teacher at the school for the kids that didn't go on the whole school excursion. So it was a ratio of 1:1.5 for the day.

And they were all under the age of 8.

Planning for two classes is complete for next term.

And the other time I spent making Easter Cards and playing with cars and trucks.

Very good day!

Late night

I am having consistent late nights. Every night I'm getting to bed much later than I want. Which is fine but means I get up much later that I want. (interesting side note: my predictive text just change much to Muhammad. Or not interesting at all.)

But that's OK. I seem to still be getting everything done.

I am waiting until this weekend to reset.

Musical

Am writing it. About to do auditions.

Looking forward to it but it'll really show me how much I can let go.

Mary Poppins

I must admit to not actually liking this musical. Not so much the music, the music's fine. But the storyline and the silly activities they do. I love magic and I totally believe that some people can do incredible things. But using it to clean up and sweep away the competition by a windgust that didn't make the news? Whatever.

So when my sisters and mother decided that we all had to go to Mary Poppins in Brisbane I was like, eww, but if we're all going ok.

So last night we went. And actually I quite enjoyed it. Mary was angrier and more passive aggressive than in the film. The mother had a narrative arc which, interestingly, didn't have anything to do with being a suffragette.

The kids couldn't sing and the acting was pretty wooden from everyone. And there was an extremely creepy scene when the toys came alive and told the kids off.

But Matt Lee's dancing was epic. And I am gonna steal lots of the ideas for the school musical.

I really had fun , so thank you to my sisters and mother for forcing me to go.

At home

I am at home.

Well, my mum's home.

Which is home.

Going home

I am going home for the weekend. Quick visit without PD this time. But I get out of W and get to see friends and some family.

Yay!

Biggest loser

Watching Biggest Loser US and I was interested to know how I measure up.

I've  lost just over 50 pounds!

Again please no comments from family

My weekend

socialisingI was in Brisbane.

Brisbane refreshed my soul.

Actually, socialising with family every day and my friends (and a very cute bit tall 16 month old) refreshed my soul.

I hope I refreshed theirs a little bit too.

The one where I get a tooth pulled.

I don't live in a town with a dentist.

So when I'm in Brisbane for the Christmas holidays, I do a yearly check up. Yes. Yearly.

I was having neck pain and therefore had to get an x-ray just to confirm that it was just grinding and clenching. And not something sinister.

Which of course is all it was.

I went back and had a fitting for a plate and to see the xrays. There was a massive hole showing up on the xrays but the dentist couldn't see it.

So I went back to have a filling. But in the meantime she got a specialist to double check. So I'm told I can't get the tooth filled it needs to come out. But I can't drive for 24 hours.

Ah, I started work the next day and it's a six hour drive!

So I've come down this weekend to get the tooth out.

I needed baby hugs and brilliantly tasty food. Didn't get either!

But I was so nice and numb wumby from the drugs. I didn't feel any pain, even when my lip swelled up to a monster. A monster I say!

Today I've had a decent amount of pain but ice, nurofen and panadol have kept it under wraps.

Now, you know when you have a sore in your mouth your tongue falls in love with it and wants to rape it? Well my tongue has been very handsy with the stitches.

To the point that it untied one of my stitches.

Damn tongue!

More painkillers tonight and then brunch at 8:30am tomorrow. OK so it's breakfast. But it's with my sisters and mummy so am looking forward to it.

Tooth out

Got a tooth out today.

Ouch for the anesthetic.

Then an hour or so later, my bottom lip swelled up so big.

Ice seems to have stopped it going up at least.

24

Is the number of kilograms that the scales are telling me I've removed from my body.

Is how old I was when I last weighed this weight.

I am happy.

If you're my family I have a weird need for you not to say anything to me about it. Don't really know why but it's superstitious so please don't. I'll let you know when it's ok to.

Tired

I am so tired. I'm not really sure why.

I think the heat has something to do with it. Really strength zapping.

Or the 8 hours of sleep instead of 9 I got last night.

Or the full day on adrenaline and being told off I had to endure...

Or the lack of food I've been eating.

I look at the lunches at school and kinda wish someone would pack me a lunch.

Valentine's next year?

Lazy day

I was going to go to school today.

But I can't be bothered.

I'm pretty much prepared for tomorrow so it's all okay

I'm watching Dexter and doing lazy day chores.

Cravings

I have been saying gluten free, dairy free, sugar free abduction caffeine free.

Caffeine is fine. I haven't had any for almost 5 years.

Dairy - I want ice cream. But that's for the sugar. Cheese for the convenience.

Gluten - I want bread. For the convenience really.

Sugar - oh dear Lord. The first month or so was absolutely fine. Going along fine. I tell you what though. I want refined sugar. Sauces. Spreads. Soft drinks. Lollies. Ice cream. Chocolate. Every single moment of every single day that I am not distracted. I can feel it in my bones. I need it. I want it.

It's like craving heroin. Not that I actually know what that's like, but I can feel the need. It is overwhelming. It could consume me if I let it.

But my skin is clear, I'm sleeping better, my digestion is better.

I. Will. Not

. Break.

The willing horse

That. Above. There. See it?

That's who I am. I am willing to go out of my way to help people and I am absolutely happy to give of myself for my work. I really am.

But I was talking to someone and they said, "Be careful, 'cause you are the willing horse and the willing horse often gets flogged."

I thought yeah I know but whatever.

But then yep. I'm doing so much for nothing back.

I don't need to get lots of recognition but something would be nice. And really don't just dump stuff on me. Ask if I can do it. I have no formal title. I am just a staff member. I'm happy to do stuff if I'm asked but just to be told and have things demanded sucks.

Chores

I've been working on chores for the past two days. Had a list of 26 things to do, and have competed 20 of them.

Very proud.

Such a big deal for me that I was home-makery for the weekend.

Grey's Anatomy

Haven't seen it since before George died. Watching it tonight after Meredith gets fired.

Very very very confused.

Mid term holiday

I totally had a mid term holiday.

I came down on Friday night.

I spent Saturday flying down to Melbourne and back.

Sunday, I went to Robina and back for a Life Coaching session. Then I spent a few hours with the BFF, saying goodbye to her dog at the vet and then having dinner at her house.

I walked to the train station and went to a course on Monday in town. Then I went out for dinner with my Mum and to see "Man on a ledge".

Tuesday, I went back to the course. Dad - skip this paragraph! Then my sisters came over and I learnt waaay to much about sex lives than I needed to know. I don't mind knowing; it's great to feel involved in the conversations, but some details can never be unleart.

Today, I have spent the morning working out budgets for going back to Melbourne for another concert.

Now, I am going to get in the car and drive back to W for a Touch Association Meeting and work tomorrow.

I'm back in Brisbane in 15 days.

Man on a Ledge

Was damn good.

That is all

Dr Who and the MSO

Was brilliant!

I got on a Virgin Australia flight at the ungodly hour of 5:55 this morning then was in Melbourne. For the first time in a decade I didn't need an extender belt for the flight! 19kgs gone from my body is working for me!

Went to Spencer Street shopping centre. Basically because it was there. Not much different to Brisbane.

Then I went to the immigration museum. Showed my student card and got in for free! Incredible. Great value. Great exhibition.

I then went to Jeff's shed as I heard it called - Melbourne convention and entertainment centre. Big place. Huge theatre is the Plenary. I got there an hour early and only just got my souvenirs before the show started.

So. Many. People. I really had a great time. The show was phenomenal and even though there had to be over 1000 people in that room it felt less catastrophic and much more spacious than the Lyric. Then I went to the Crown Casino. $39 for a steak I couldn't finish. It was like butter though, so it was great too. Then Virgin didn't make me go down and up stairs to board the plane. And they were showing Foxtel which totoccupied. And the Plane arrived in Brisbane 20 minutes early. One of the best Christmas presents I've ever received. Thanks Mum! And I love saying, "I went to Melbourne and back today!" Oh and sorry the pics are sideways. Don't know how to turn them.

Day 8

We're just about to get to day 8. For those of you in the know it's a biggie. Whatever happen from day 9 doesn't count.

And it's almost day 8 and I am so tired.

Daughter

I love being one of a very supportive mummy.

That is all.

Yep, more about school...

I went in to school for 4 hours today. Got one day planned.

The new prescribed curriculum was meant to make it easier on us.

It does not.

I am exceedingly grateful that the 'what' is sitting there for us. I am. There are resources that I would just never have found.

But compositing the classes for secondary is a cow.

And time consuming.

But I'm ready for tomorrow!

Exhaustion

<p>Exhaustion sucks. I did 4 days of work this week and feel as tired as I did after a full year of work. Gonna beat the attrition rate but don't think I'll do this forever. Too emotionally draining.

Nervous breakdowns are common.

Australia Day

I know that millions of people are celebrating today. And I know that people enjoy it.

I don't.

For a few reasons:

- we are celebrating the attempt to annihilate and entire race of people in the space of 100 years.

- we choose dodgy recipients of the Australian of the Year. Geoffrey Rush is a great dude and spent hours with us at school in the year after Shine, but really? Up against the people who really have done things for Australian like saving wildlife etc a person who just raises the Australian profile through his job smacks of not thinking and wanting a famous person because you're condescending to the public thinking they won't 'get' someone they don't already know.

- we celebrate through Bogan. Australia is NOT all about drinking and beating up foreigners... but if you don't you're 'unaustralian'. Come on already. Just because I don't drink and the traditional barbecue is not something I would jump at a chance to attend doesn't mean I can't claim my citizenship.
- We might think getting so drunk that you can't naked it to work tomorrow is fun, but trust me, the rest of the world doesn't. Why do you think Amsterdam has banned foreigners from partaking? You're not fun when you start drinking yesterday and won't stop until midnight tonight!

I tend to hibernate on this day.

Talk to you tomorrow!

Watermelon

I have a shirt that is slightly a watermelon/Rockmelon colour... But it's a lovely colour and I feel good in myself.

Which is needed tonight when my subjects are likely to change again tomorrow.

Changes

I know changes occur. I know that. And, really, I'm not too bothered by the changes this week. But I am.

My timetable has changed. No big deal. Except I'm teaching more primary classes per week than secondary.

So much for being secondary curriculum coordinator.

Or the co senior school specialist.

I'm the person who's versatile enough to be mucked around.

But I am looking forward to the challenge of Prep afternoon sport.

4 year olds people!

My training is for 12-17 year olds. Surely they're the same right?

Internet

Haven't had the  internet at home for few days. Frustrating.

Called the Telco and the nice helpful Indian man helped me get it working again.

Hope it's permanent!

Quick one

Major changes today. Not really stressed about it, but I think the first time I'm in a class with 7 year olds I might have a "wtf am I doing here?" moment.

I'm a high school teachers people! What do I do with 7 year olds?

Day two

I don't want this blog to turn into a blow by blow of each day, so it won't.

I wanted to post today about how I'm not solely in charge, or on paper and how that's actually ok. I've still got lots of plans that I am gonna implement and I think they will help. I do. I just have to get the others on board.

One of my new teachers is actually a veteran teacher but so scared about stepping into a totally new subject I've spent hours object on her planning but not mine. And you know what? I'm happy to do it. It means I'm gonna be at work for hours on the weekend to be ready, but that's ok.

And I'd appreciate if the photocopier was working!

Back again

Today was the first pupil free day for the year. The first anything at work for me. Which I'm very grateful for.

My air conditioning is making a funny noise as a side note...

There seems to have been a bit of over stepping on behalf of an old team member. Turns out I'm not as needed as I was told last year. Really trying to look at as a weight that's been lifted, and really it has - I mean, now I can really concentrate on teaching.

But I like being in charge...

Not really. Can I have a role where I can tell people how a subject is to be run without the responsibility if it gets mucked up? No? Aw, shucks.

Last Day

It's the last day of holidays today. (OK, tomorrow technically, but I've got a 6 hour drive to get home, and a filling to be done on my back right molar, so that doesn't feel like holiday stuff).

I'm going to do some chores today too though. I have to go to Medicare, and then buy some tarps. My dining suite is sitting on my front verandah and I need to get something to cover. Not that I don't think the damage has already been done after 6 months of western Queensland sun and rain. But I'll buy the tarps and take them home.

I also have three loads of washing to do so that I don't have to do washing tomorrow when I get back to W. But it's raining. So, I'm gonna load it all into my car and look for a laundromat to get it dry.

The joys of being in Brisbane instead of a tiny little western town!

Oh, and I may just get that school work done...

Maybe.

Turning 30

Not me. Yet. That's in June - I'm sure I'll post about it throughout the year!

My friend had her kid-friendly party today. It was really fun being with my friends and their kidlets; all 5 of them (plus another assorted 4 who I don't know). I love 5 of those children. I really do. (And they make me clucky!)

What hit me today, was that just over 3 years ago, not one of those children was in existence. Some of them may have been conceived, but they weren't really with us. And three of them are less than a year old.

It's phenomenal isn't it? You don't exist, then you do, then eventually you don't again.

I haven't really planned a kid-friendly birthday for me, but I may change my ideas; it is just under 6 months away. And what I have planned, I want to do, but I don't think it'd be fun without anyone else. :)

But that's fine 'cause as I said, I'm 29 for just under another 6 months!

EDSCO

I went to EDSCO for the first time ever yesterday. Wow. The amount of education resources that are in that store! I spent way way way way too much. Ooops.

My only complaint about educational resources is that it's all for primary! There's not much for secondary. Which I guess in the 'olden days' of preach and teach/chalk and talk where you could just talk at them for 70 minutes and have the write stuff down was ok. But now when it's got to be interesting and engaging, we need the bright coloured resources as well!


That is all.

Girl's night

 I love my BFF (which, I think she'd hate to have that label, but it's just the easiest way to describe it) and her husband and her son. I do. They are part of my family. They truly are.

Anyways, this holidays, I wanted some girl time. Without the men. I love them, but sometimes us girls just need to get together and chat.

So we did!

It was great. We had dinner out and gossiped. Yes, gossip. Oh well. We talked over major life decisions and (I hope) I helped.

Then we went and saw Hugo. I loved this movie. It was so sweet and, I must admit, the ending surprised me. Not because there was any major twist, no. Just because I was expecting one thing and it wasn't the ending. If I hadn't been pre-empting it, I wouldn't have been surprised.

Then we stood in the carpark for another 20 minutes chatting.

I have missed comfy relationships. It was good for the soul.

Thank you S.

Professional reading

I should be writing our school's Whole School Curriculum, Assessment and Reporting Plan (OK, I should have been writing this document since the 10th December) but I thought my time could be spent better buying books over the internet.

It's all teaching related, so it counts right?

**I only have two more pages of the WSCARP (That someone at school was calling the ACRAP) but I'm trying to meld the Australian Curriculum: History and the QSA's Essential Learnings for SOSE together. Turns out we need about three years to cover it all!

Oxygen

Is not over-rated. Trust me. I've been struggling to really breathe since November - November, people! That's almost three months. Really yawning was the only thing that was helping. Yawning. A lot.

I haven't been able to do the washing up, drive to the shops, even shower without getting exhausted. I saw a doctor who saw "Panic Attacks" on my patient record, and said, 'yeah, you're panic will do that'. But I knew it was different. Knew it. In my bones.

I demanded a series of blood tests, and the doctor was going away. So, I went to another doctor to get the results. He didn't read my file. And thank Michael and the Angels he hadn't. I went through the symptoms and he put me straight in for an exercise stress echo, which came back clean - good heart -, a CT angiogram, which also came back clean - good lungs, and tests for all different types of pneumonia.

I asked the doctor if it could be asthma, but he said no. Apparently, I wasn't wheezing. But then all the blood tests, except the infection markers, came back totally clean. So he gave me a puffer anyway.

"Give it a go for a week. If it doesn't work, then you'll need to go to a respiratory specialist. There's nothing more I can test for."

So, I gave it a go.

Wow. I can breathe. Breathing; totally underrated.

I got home without needing to yawn. I walked the 30m or so from the street to my front house. And I could still breathe by the end of it.

I feel really good!

All of these investigations were totally worth missing my course and holiday for. I feel confident and able to go back to the middle of no where now that I can breathe!

The Wall

I seem to have hit the metaphorical wall in relation to self-improvement.

I need to power down and take a day and then start again tomorrow!

Last week

It's the last week of my holidays. I should be in Tasmania at a course, but because of my health, doctors told me I couldn't go. And that's OK. I'm much happier staying at home and getting well than going away and getting worse.

On my agenda this week is:

1. Season 8 of Smallville.
2. Lesson Plans for term 1.
3. Meditation.
4. Getting well.

What's on yours?

Clear Results

1. No diabetes, thyroid problems, Barma Forest, Ross River, Rheumatoid Athritis
2. No cardiomyopathy
3. No pulmonary emboli

Testing now for 'exotic' virusses, like legionairres and pertussis. I had pertussis in 2010, so I would think that that would suck if I got it again straight away!

A couple of them would need some people to be told about the infection. :( But that wouldn't be nearly as embarrassing as telling all the mummas that for the second summer holidays in a row, I've put their little cherubs in danger!

Smallville

I am powering through Smallville. I'm on season 6.
My mother is also powering through Smallville. She's on season 8.

I'm watching both.

I am hopelessly confused.

That is all.

Holiday

I had a holiday booked in for Tasmania starting at 5:30am tomorrow morning. Last week I had a blood test because of how I've been feeling. The doctor today, a totally new one I've never seen, heard my symptoms and looked at the blood results and said that instead of the holiday, I need an exercise cardio echo.

So, this afternoon has been spent changing flights ($120 alteration fees), cancelling booked accommodation and hire cars.

Now, most people would be upset about this. I'm not. I'm happy - I want to be well, so if this is the test I need to be able to do that, then I'm all for it.

Yes, I've lost a few hundred dollars, which sucks, but I can afford it all. My panic attacks are mainly about my heart stopping, so if I have this test, on top of the Halter Monitor which gave me the all clear a few years ago, the blood tests from last week which rule out lots of virusses and diabetes, and haemachromatosis and low iron and all the natural remedies and work I have been doing, then I can finally f***ing move on!

Passage of time

I met my cousin's youngest for the first time today. She was gorgeous. Very tall, but gorgeous. I have met the elder one, but he was 2 (He's now 10!). He's also quite tall.  I remember being babysat by their mum.

Yesterday, I had a New Year's Day celebration with friends and their bubbas. CJ is so much bigger now - 12 months and he has grown up so much. M is talking and is actively seeking 'adult' things. H is crawling comfortably and S is trying to sit up. It's phenomenal.

It's insane, the passage of time. You really see it in children don't you?

If I stay at my school ten more years, I will see the 2011 prep (kindergarten/reception) kids at the end of their schooling at our school, in year 10.

Even with the passage of time in a normal secondary school you can really really really see the passage of time in the way the kids grow up and age.